DEEP TECH BURNER – Fresh Out The Box head honcho Mister Ed Steele nonchalantly summons a hypnotic bass monster from the depths of his studio cache. Who knows what other happy accidents lay in the realms of his computer hard drives ? I reckon there’s a least one gay disco track, three breaks remixes and an uncompromising photo of him chewing his own face.
With tracklist and everyfink! Grab via the Sendspace link on the Soundcloud.
ACID TECH SLAPPER Of all the things I’ve put up my nose over the years, an endoscope is the weirdest.
Actually 5AEO DMT is the weirdest, but the fibreoptic camera is certainlythe least fun. The doctor got me to snort a long black tentacle into my nasal cavity so he could have a look around the dark recesses of my sinuses.
I’m officially quite seriously ill and have been given bag of drugs the size of a large chinese take-away to ingest over the coming months and I get to be inserted into a torpedo tube. Exciting stuff.
Don’t surf in raw sewage, kids. You’ll get ill.
SLICK PUMPING TECH - Uber-prolific producer Dan [sic] Jeffries saddles his tech horse and trots heroically from the reliable Slime stables.
Rich ladies sporting jodhpurs and wax jackets swoon as he circles the paddock on his steed readying the magnificent beast for a gallop across the rolling landscape of 808 bass.
Those horsey birds are all looking forward to a grapple in the hay with [sic] because as we all know,those country bitches fakkin’ well love a bit of rough.
PLUMP BASS MONSTER -Take note dubstep producers, there are other sounds out there beyond the giant dentist drill and the twanging of that 90ft shatterproof ruler.
It’s been a while since I pulled a proper Bass-Face. The expression that contorts the chops into a healthy snarl of approval, forces paws into the double gun-finger salute and renders you looking like you suffer from an acute palsy of some sort. But holy shuddering fuck The Plumps have managed it. Eclipsing all drops of recent months Light Fantastic grooves out a schizophrenic tech-house, orbital-rave, bass grunter.
Out now on Beatport – hop through the soundcloud player to shell out your hard earned earth credits, bitches.
ELECTRO / BREAKS HAMMERS Up and down the country (but mainly in London Fields) there are floppy fringed streaks of piss in poorly fitting shirts crouched over laptops producing “electro, techno you know?”
This involves layering Garage Band loops and cranking in an overdrive filter, not just with their fingers – but using their ENTIRE DECREPIT BODIES, and then stabbing at the air, brushing their stupid haircut behind their rodent fucking ears, and hunching back over their macbook for the next installment of their earth shattering performance. “Look at me! Look at me! – I need approval!”
Yeah I know what you need you diluted excuse for a human.
Vandal however simply opens the door to his studio, his debut album leaps out and starts kicking in the cunt on every Shoreditch electro-twat in sight. Vandal’s probably got the kettle on and his feet up while “Tonight We Riot” merrily skull fucks its way down Old Street.
No finger pointing, no fringes, no buttoned up collars
Rugged, accomplished production. Solid uncompromising grooves and guaranteed dance floor hammers. Loses points for the Helvetica font on dodgy photo artwork though. nyah.
Recommend the last track “The Wolf”
Tech Dubstep Refix- I ended up wobbling around at a dubstep night – on a sunday of all things. It was a post carnival knees up and everyone was several sheets to the pissed-up breeze well before the event started. Over the course of 2 hours they seemed to play about 4 tunes over and over and over. To the point where me and my mates were openly giggling at the flapppy basslines wretching from the speakers. In bedrooms the world over kids are hunched over a cracked copy of Cubase and stabbing at the “Dubstep 2 Preset” plugin and churning out fomulaic arse-bass that makes ugly people in fitted caps go “booooooo”
There is plenty of room in the world for crass, mindless dance music but lets be honest – hard house has pretty much cornered the market with that shit.
This release from Slime Recordings however presents a decent package that gives the weary dubstep forulae a kick up it’s stupid Croydon shit crack. Here [sic] neatly fiddles the dials into a tech edged release that rubs dubstep productions the wrong way.
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House Groove Excellence – Absolutely FUCK yes. I’ve had “One Night In Tokyo” glued to the top of my playlist since it first bumped into my headphones a couple of weeks back. This tune has so far been the soundtrack to me falling off a skateboard in front of a group of hot ladies outside a diamond shop which later that day got done.Waking up on bus having dribbled all over myself and very nearly having a controlled explosion performed on my van (all true).
And now Shur-I-Kan is responsible for the most horrendous colour clash ever encountered in a Loudat blog post. Don’t you love the way the red shirt, blue text and the green Hype Machine Logo grate together and make your eyes want to vomit? Best house tune in EVER.
Deep,soulful tech house This dude needs to stand a little closer to the razor next time he shaves. Found Dapayk Solo’s loose and live sounding tech-house number while nosing through Discobelle. Took a few listens to get properly across it but this is a track that I suspect will be wedged firmly in my shell-likes for some time.
Dapayk solo – Back To Me (feat. Camara & Jon Hester) – Album Version by dapayk
This is the last recorded image of Meat Katie before he escaped from a maximum security school canteen.
Shortly after this press photograph was taken Mr Katie staged a daring escape that left 3 dinner ladies dead and a head teacher with a spork wedged in his eye.
He was last seen making good his escape across the school carpark but not before kicking the wing mirrors from the head of year’s Volvo estate.
Meat Katie – Lucia (Jade Remix) Lot49 -Out Now! by Meat Katie
